(NEXSTAR) – Of all the sensitive topics to touch at Thanksgiving dinner, the topic of immunization – and Whether or not everyone around the table is vaccinated – It doesn’t have to be one of them.

But this is only because it should be discussed beforehand.

Thanksgiving is approaching, and with it come the annual worries associated with hosting, attending, or just being at a family meeting. This is the first Thanksgiving after the COVID-19 vaccine is widely available, which also means more families may feel comfortable hosting an in-person gathering — if it’s something they really think they want to do.

Lizzie Post, granddaughter of Emily Post and co-chair of Emily Post Institute. Instead of saying, ‘It’s possible to gather this year,’ the host should think, ‘Does this fit into my personal safety goals, and where am I with this pandemic?’ “

“Once you know how you feel, it will be easier for you to be polite to others when issuing an invitation.”

Another, also a host Podcast “Fantastic Etiquette”The COVID-19 pandemic has presented the most unique set of challenges in recent history, he said.

“This is probably one of the toughest etiquette issues we’ll ever encounter in our lives,” she told Nexstar. “It’s always about trying to make the best of a bad situation. And I think that’s really hard.”

Hosts should be clear about their expectations

Hosts can expect fewer headaches if they make their expectations and requirements well known before Thanksgiving dinner.

“Tell (your guests) that you were preparing, that you came to a decision,” Post said. “You could say something like, ‘I’m really looking forward to Thanksgiving, hoping we can all get together. In order to do this, we feel comfortable asking that guests be vaccinated, or if you have not been vaccinated, you wear a mask when you are indoors or in close proximity to others.

“If this works, we’d love to see you. If it doesn’t, we’d love to catch it up again, or via Zoom. “

Granted, these types of terms aren’t impervious to complaints, and may end up insulting the invitee. However, hosts should be prepared to submit these complaints calmly and patiently. If both parties can come to an understanding, that’s great. If not, the host must be sympathetic while remaining assertive.

“Learning about someone’s feelings or reaction to (the rules you set) is okay,” Post said. “You don’t have to say, ‘You’re silly’ or a similar comment. Let them know you’re really sorry that this created a difficult situation.”

Guests should ask questions if they have concerns

Guests on the receiving end of the invitation may feel anxious, too, but it always makes sense to ask the host follow-up questions, according to the Post.

She said, “Ask what you want to ask.” “Do it with a tone of curiosity and optimism – the idea here is not skepticism. It is gathering the information you need to make a decision, not making judgments.”

Unfortunately, guests should keep in mind that the host is not obligated to change guest requirements.

“They are calling You are to something. You choose whether you will answer yes or no.”

Above all, Post said, it’s important to remember that everyone — whether hosts or guests — isn’t trying to create extra drama within their family by setting rules or asking questions.

“This is the second year our family traditions have been canceled or different from what they used to be. It’s true that someone will get stressed or upset, and telling them they’re a ‘unruly newbie’ is not a polite way to get to know their feelings,” Post said.

“We all try to build better relationships despite these challenges. Which is exactly what literature can do.”